Now What?

I have always been a great believer of positive thinking, even in my darkest of days, I always focus on the brighter side of things. I think this has now been tested to its full limit. Up to what extent do I stay like that. Until where do I go forward believing it. I know I don’t have to be always okay, some days I could just be what I feel. But this time believe me, the boat has more than been rocked. I waited for nothing. I know I still have tomorrows but for some reason I don’t know if I still want to look at it.

I feel emptiest, and I know I’ll look back on this in the future. I always say, just go on, but what if you’re just tired of moving. It’s so easy to say if not today then try again tomorrow. But say it again to me when your life fell apart right in front of you and you couldn’t do anything about it. Say it again when you slept in rock bottom. Now, tell me again when you have lost everything that ever mattered to you. Talk to me when you’ve tried to get back on track with your life, make amends and what not, and you get slapped in the face that you came too late.

Look me in the eyes and say you’ll be there, and I won’t believe you. Give your hand for me to hold and I will be the one to let go. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Just do it, if you want to stay, then do. If you want to leave be my guest. Not this time, I need to take care of her too.

Juliet – 08162012 – 0516