I opened my eyes and suddenly I realized, I was no longer in the ocean. The image of the battlefield was nothing but a memory now. Every afternoon teardrop and sleepless night, I no longer see in my rear-view mirror, it seems so far behind me. I looked down on my arm, no more bandages, no more wounds, not a single scar in sight. I have healed.
I sat up and looked out the window, I see the leaves, hmmm Autumn. A beautiful ending to the spring flowers that await. I smiled with a ray of the sun, warmed my cheek, touched my face ever so softly like a kiss. I fixed my bed and I noticed the sheets were new.
I got off the bed and as soon as my feet touched the floor I felt the bed tremble. Like an old alarm going crazy trying to wake up the one that set it. It’s a signal you see, to start your day, to me at that moment it was a sign of a restart to my life. Like a character from any game, you have to die to restart with the hopes of being wiser and get farther.
I went to the kitchen and emptied the old coffee to make a new one. I grabbed two pieces of sliced bread to toast and waited. The coffee was done, so I poured the coffee on my mug that said donut ever give up. The mug was so me, the corniest puns can make me laugh and the sole reason of it being stupid. It makes me laugh even harder when someone is seriously saying the joke believing it’s funny. Well, funny is subjective after all. Ding! My toasts are done. I put it on a plate. I opened the fridge to grab the coffee creamer and my cream cheese. So I poured cream on my coffee, some sugar and put the mug on the table. I spread out cream cheese on my toast and then I sat down. My morning started.
I finished breakfast. I unplugged my phone, connected it on my speaker and turned the shower on. I brushed my teeth and as the water warmed up, I hopped in the shower. Singing my heart out. Out of the shower and into my towel. I head to my room and got dressed. Check the bus schedule, put on my boots and my jacket. I head out locked the door behind me and walked to the bus stop. I was walking merrily as I was busy putting on my earphones and connecting it with my phone.
I looked up and as soon as my point of view was on that bus stop, everything seemed to flash before my mind but on a time-lapse. From that very busy day, to every single decision, moment after another, and then those mornings, those unbearable mornings. When a box fell off with all the pieces I bottled up, from plotting out a road map, putting on timestamps to each and every turn, to ticking out accomplished tasks. From late nights that somehow made me feel nostalgic to days that seemed longer than usual. From realizing that it was time to tie up loose ends to the very last day when I got my answer. It all went from surviving each and every day without breaking, to picking up the pieces. Then little by little, a step towards this very day.
My layover is done. I got off the bus stop with my unseen wounds still alive and well from the battle. Now on a full ten and completely healed, I’m once again at a bus stop, getting on that restart, wiser. Rebuilding each and every day until my road is paved. I still get reminded from time to time but it makes me smile, because I came back from that, even stronger now, wiser and braver.
I see the bus now. I thought this is where it begins, me taking a chance at life with that drive that I always had. That curiosity that has always taken me to depths that I never thought I’d discover. That thirst for knowledge that has made me travel to places I’ve never stepped foot on. I was excited again. The bus finally came and in my head I whispered to myself:
I’m back baby!
-juliet 20191015 2305