What’s new

Everything is different but it’s all the same.  Looking back, it’s has been a long way, but it’s so slow isn’t it?  I’m the same girl who decided not get hitched when I was 13.  I still listen to rap, rock and old songs.  I still write, whenever and wherever.  Day dreaming is still my favourite pastime.  I still use music as my timer, I got that from a camp I went to back then and I never stopped doing that ever since.  I’m joyful and peaceful too.  I still don’t find the need to explain myself to people.

I still do everything I used to.  I belt out some notes when I’m alone driving.  I don’t like anything pink.  Black is my favourite colour.  I have my morning rituals, which is get up, have breakfast before my day begins.  Then at night I wash my face, brush my teeth and day-dream my way through.  There are still things that I keep doing.  When I wash my hands I still check how dirty it is.  There are still things that I keep doing.

I have noticed, that my life might have big changes but I haven’t lost who I am.  New things, I have added though, I only drink warm coffee once in the morning, then if it’s after 11:00 AM I want my coffee cold.  Regardless of the weather, may it be sunny or snowing.  I don’t take so long when I shower.

I just thought maybe my inside world is too colourful of a universe for me to feel the need to have my outside life as mundane as possible.  As mediocre as the life I have lived, in my own little world I live a grand life.  So who’s to say about who is living a happy life and who isn’t?

He Exists

He existed out of pure emotion, the greatest emotion known to man. He was born on a different cloud, the weather was so unusual that time no man could suspend it. He was laid on a cradle chafed by dreams. He is no special not more than the others of his kind, he’s just different but that difference is yet to be known.

He was raised in a home full of kindness and goodwill yet, as he grew old, he never seemed to get into the place where he belonged; everything is just not as it’s sold. He’s just lucky enough that hands are reached out to pull him back just so he would fit in but he was a hard one, that boy. He never wanted to fall in line, just crash in. His favorite colors were black and gray. He lived at the edge of a small town where he chose to be on the run opposite the track of time, there he was at peace in the dark and was at home with aliens.

Growth was his menace if only he could have remained a child forever. In the wild he seemed to be a harmless cub but once he’s bitten he’d eat all up his would be predator, he was dubbed as the meanest kid in school, he was addicted to getting cuts and bruises and in his town he was a misunderstood soul. He eventually figured out that nothing really lasts forever so he comes into trying a little of some things that he considers far more better than calming down; things that opposes age, things that invites the theory of nothingness and of the days that never ends.

He eventually liked folly. He wanted to become rich because he wants to buy sanity but little did he know that sanity ain’t even for sale. He always gets lost, looking for hellos but he ends up finding goodbyes instead. He was living to die so that he would die living, ending what is yet to have begun. He saw his reflection irritatingly imitating him; he aimed to empty his core.

Core is the heart, a knight’s big heart. He was born with a core so fragile, that people around him wrapped it with an armor of steel. His big heart shines and nobody dares to break it but time just isn’t his friend, his armor got corroded and soon the corrosion corrupts his core. Now, his heart overloads with aches and pains. He laughs as his tears roll down. He is created to feel pain and be in the dark. There has to be a reason for all of this…

In the darkness he learned to appreciate the smallest glimpse of light. He is restless and is in constant battle against the deceptions of his deepest innermost self. Now, he is longing for salvation. He hopes to find the better man inside him. He wishes to stand steadfast amidst suffering; he wishes to become an agape soldier that’s hard to beat. Every time he feels down and lonely, he feels humbled yet motivated to be where the light is lighted up. Although he cannot fly, he can surely beat the air into submission and though he cannot catch up with the wind, life is still a chase after it. He exists…

He Exists In Order To Love