Maybe No

I was walking, really more like wandering.  I was walking toward a familiar place, but I wasn’t there.  As I got to the door, that music, those notes ringing to my ear, a song so familiar.  It was waiting for me, so I opened the door and there I was all in white.  Walking down all confused, a room full of people but I couldn’t seem to find the people who mean the world to me except for one.  When I got to the middle of the room I looked down, and saw a bunch of flowers, realized they were Asters, all along I have been thinking if this was it, why would it be this simple?  As I reached the end, there you were standing, I barely recognize this little world.  I couldn’t even smile, I was wondering so much where the people were.  All of a sudden, I then heard those words, “I pronounce you man and wife”.  Still with no smile but just a confused facial expression, I looked at everyone.  I saw people I know from the past, they all wished me well.  I was still so confused even holding your hand didn’t feel like it used to.  One of the people said, why aren’t you smiling?  Then I looked at you, you looked so happy and excited meanwhile you were holding the hand of a confused bride.


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Those kind of nights that calms you. The kind when you’re smiling as you close your eyes then, the tunnel begins.
A world not familiar, neverland. You said to me, let’s do it. Then I said what the hell. Then we casually tell everyone we signed up for an eternal membership of united souls. There we were two wounded souls with every part of our spirits broken, became one.  All of a sudden everything felt complete, not a hole in sight, not even a shadow of melancholy. We were just – happy.
Like how I came, the tunnel pulled me back to reality and realized no longer is it possible,  no longer is it right. Then, soon as my feet felt the ground my day started in the world I know so well.

Juliet – 08182015 – 2345

Just For Today

Lost on a familiar road, with nothing but these white roses tied to my hand.  I leave traces from the blood of my wounded hand from the thorns.  My bloody footprints for I am running barefoot.  How can I get rid of the roses when I can only feel it, because I’m blindfolded.  I couldn’t seem to remove this blindfold for the thorns of the roses might hurt my face.   I just know I have been her once even without seeing  my path.

Now I can hear thunder, I just know it’s going to rain.  Raindrops started falling faster than my tears.  I couldn’t see, I just can’t.  Everything I have with me are just maybes.  How did I even get here?  Where did I ever get these roses tied to my hands?  Was I blindfolded before I got these? Or did I get these then this cruel scarf was tied to around my head to cover my view of reality?

I don’t know much, I never do.  But it seems to me that no one sees me.  Nobody seems to see me running around.  Maybe  just maybe I’m on a deserted road, a path that was never taken.  A road less traveled.  I know I need to rescued but, I know I can do this.  I can survive this.  I getting pretty exhausted.  I don’t know what to feel, I don’t know what to do.

Finally I stopped running.  I broke down and screamed at the top of my lungs.  On my knees, I couldn’t wipe off my tears.  Then I felt a hand touching mine.  I felt each thorn removed from my skin.  As the roses were gone, so was the pain, but my hands still bleeding.  It was so silent that I could hear the wind blowing.  I never tried to question who it was, I just wanted to see again.  As he touched the scarf, I took a deep breath and he said don’t be scared, you’re safe with me.  Then I could see again, as my vision adjusted, I could see that he too can’t clearly see for he has a helmet on his head.  I knew then I had to thank him properly so I removed his helmet and said, I need not to be  rescued but thank you.  He smiled and said, you never admit you need anyone but as I have been watching you, I know I just had to step in when you broke down.  I then told him, It may seem like I have given up, but I was just tired.  He stood up and said, you never admitted you needed anyone but yourself but I just wanted you to feel safe.  He extended his hand but I stood up without taking it. I said, What’s the use of one-time safety, when I still have more battles?  He just smiled and replied, who told you it’s just for today?


Juliet – 08042012 – 1600


And suddenly I was on a boat going through a waterfall, as I went out I saw a man standing there. There’s fog everywhere and I couldn’t see who it was, I immediately assumed it was a stranger. As the boat got closer, I felt cold air entered my thin long dress. I knew then it was a familiar face but I don’t want to believe. As soon as my faith decreased, I almost fell off board because the boat moved. I wet my dress with the little amount of water that was on the boat.

So I got closer, and then I had goose bumps. I saw him, standing right there, as if waiting for me, my first love. I fell in love all over again and I set my heart free this time. He looked into my eyes and extended his hand to get me off the boat. I took his hand and the boat wobbled. I fell down with my right foot on the shore and the other still on the boat. Then I felt like I was sucked back to that waterfall. We held hands as the earth shook us both. Then I told him, I must let go now. He told me to hold on. But I thought it wasn’t working out so I stared at him with tears in my eyes. I should let you go. Then he said You don’t have to. I said I have to. He cried and I said don’t cry, someone out there is right for you. Then I let him go.

He managed to grab my left hand and said now I couldn’t possibly stop crying. I asked him why and then he answered because that water on the boat, those are mine. I didn’t understand so I let him go. As I got farther, We were looking at each others’ eyes, with him sobbing. Then he managed to yell Those are my tears, it brought you back to me.

Juliet – 04212010 – 0919