It’s Just One of Those

Mornings that as soon as you open your eyes everything already seemed wrong

The kind that you know every hour is going to feel long

Those mornings that your mind says get up

The ones that you just want to lay there and want the time to stop

Days that you can’t wait to end

You put on the brightest smile just to blend

Nothing feels right

But you’re trying with all your might

Finally dusk, the day is almost over

When every single part of you feels weaker as the night gets closer

You feel proud to have done what you should

But even that didn’t change your mood

Those nights you get ready for bed

Then you lay there with thoughts in your head

You try to pray, you want to pray but only tears are coming out

Even though you want to shout

You let it all out, tears are prayers too, people say

You’re happy with your life but sometimes you are just not okay

Everything including this, too shall pass, I suppose

But you’re not okay, not tonight, because it’s just one of those

-juliet 20190121 2213

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Your Thoughts on…

With the year coming to a close,  things rush into your head like a review of a movie that came out this year,  starring you and everybody you’ve interacted with in supporting roles. What has been said; what you have done;  how you’ve reacted or how you should’ve,  could’ve or would’ve reacted and otherwise. Then you ask yourself,  what is an old soul’s business in this modern day?  A time when people are the most sensitive to other people’s feelings but not morals.  Well,  I don’t mean to forget about the rebels. A rebel without a cause, a phrase brought to life by some this day and age. 
Many times have people thought and even sure that the world will end,  pointing fingers on the four horsemen being among us,  walking among us.  Nobody knows but the Father the Bible says,  not even the Son.  But men’s arrogance went so far as calculating when it is. 
Indeed we have come to an age where having morals are being frowned upon by the majority.  Doing the right thing was never easy.  Empathy is as rare as common sense.  Feelings matter more than logic. I have always come back to that essay Paul Harvey wrote entitled,  If I were the devil, the essay has come to life if we try to look around the world today.  To summarize it,  it’s about the modern times,  and what it is today. 
I understand how people have been hesitant to talk about what they believe in, in terms of religion,  what their opinions are in terms of politics and their overall thoughts on everyday things to not offend. Like what our older generations love to point out,  as the idea of our dogs getting neutered creeped into one of our norms,  have we lost ours as well? 

These thoughts don’t come from a high horse or from someone who claims to have a moral high ground but I try.  The tone of these thoughts are rooted from disappointment because as the beings on top of the food chain, we ought to be better. 
-Juliet 12102017

1506 mdst

It’s Personal

I have always been a woman of faith.  Not often do I blast it on my writing but it definitely is there,  you just have to know where to look. I never announced whenever I pray nor to do tell anybody I do,  because and it’s not that I’m ashamed of it nor am I ashamed of my God,  I just believe we have our individual design of spiritual journey home. Whether we take our cross or walk away,  He tremendously respects and honors our free will. To me,  whatever our choice is,  much as I’d want better for everyone,  but in the end better to you might be different than mine. 

I don’t shout to the world what I do when I pray,  I don’t slap it in anyone’s faces how I praise. Many times have I been told,  you don’t strike me as you know—,  then I say,  the praying kind?  But don’t get me wrong I’m not selfish I preach when I get the opportunity,  far as I can go.  Then again not even God comes between free will. 

My faith has never been private,  it’s just personal.  I take care of my soul first,  best that I could.  We’ve been through unpleasant things,  we’ve done stuff that still humiliates us just thinking about it.  But I figured humiliation could bring out humility and it should. 

Sometimes profound silence could be stronger than the prayers we utter. This world often makes us forget how deceitful the adversary is and believe that when times change; when technology advances; values,  manners and faith should change along with it.  I beg to differ,  we should be intelligent enough not to make the same mistakes.  

-Juliet 05272017 1738