If it Were True

If it were true, it would conquer death much more if it were just a fight.

If it were true, no matter how many times it hurts, you just heal from it.

If it were true, no matter the distance, you make not even a glance to anyone else.

If it were true, nothing will break you, it will only make you stronger.

If it were true, you would fight, throwing in the towel will never be an option.

If it were true, no matter how many times you try to leave, you always come back.

If it were true, no matter how much you try to forget, you just never could.

If it were true, no mountain is ever too high for you to climb.

If it were true, nothing is impossible to do.

If it were true, you could never breathe the same.

If it were true, you close your eyes but each slumber deems restless.

If it were true, there is no time limit to what you can do.

If it were true, you epitomize all those love songs.

If it were true, you would put to shame those romantic movies and shows.

If it were true no romance novelist could have conceived the moments you have encapsulated into tiny moving photographs.

If it were true you would never choose to walk away, for you know you can’t.

All of those who have loved know this, if it were true.

-juliet 20200611 1816

It’s Just One of Those

Mornings that as soon as you open your eyes everything already seemed wrong

The kind that you know every hour is going to feel long

Those mornings that your mind says get up

The ones that you just want to lay there and want the time to stop

Days that you can’t wait to end

You put on the brightest smile just to blend

Nothing feels right

But you’re trying with all your might

Finally dusk, the day is almost over

When every single part of you feels weaker as the night gets closer

You feel proud to have done what you should

But even that didn’t change your mood

Those nights you get ready for bed

Then you lay there with thoughts in your head

You try to pray, you want to pray but only tears are coming out

Even though you want to shout

You let it all out, tears are prayers too, people say

You’re happy with your life but sometimes you are just not okay

Everything including this, too shall pass, I suppose

But you’re not okay, not tonight, because it’s just one of those

-juliet 20190121 2213

emo, woman, doubts, feelings, past, hurt, emotion

Thoughts Of A Woman In Heels

 

Dear space,

I have always wanted to remember how it was to be at peace with myself. I do have some trust issues. This makes me questions every single thing existing around me.  I doubt every single detail in someone’s statement. I barely believe the things that I see.

It is not fun at all.

To have second thoughts on everything makes my mind too crowded, congested with thoughts that drown my emotions. While others say they have a hole within them, I seem to have this big boulder inside my chest – a heavy feeling that I could not understand.

I used to blame this on an experience. A black shadow that covered most of my happy thoughts, letting only the darker past visible to my memory. I used to blame this on things that I cannot see. I used to blame everything but I was always unsure.

Then I was told that I should come to my senses. They said this was just me. I have been overthinking about myself, about everything. No one wants to hurt me. No one wants to fool me. They said I am the one making this big of a misery to myself.

So how am I to end this?  I couldn’t just let it go. Should I just believe on the lies that I hear? Should I just get myself be fooled by all the bogus lingering around me? Should I just let myself be free of the doubts?

I have always wanted to remember how it was to be at peace with myself .I want to be at peace with myself.  How could I be at peace, if I myself don’t know what it means?

 

Thinking out loud,

 

MATILDA