All That I Need

Maybe I’ll write about what you’ve lost
It’s everything I’ve got
I wonder if it’s worth my time
To even think of a line

Nothing was there for me to gain
All it caused was pain
Though it lifted something up
And it was so much more than I thought

Knock on my door
I shall open it but not like before
Not with hate, not with love
But indifference from the moment I turn the knob

Tell me about you
And I’ll respond like any stranger would
Ask me questions, I’ll be glad to answer them
It doesn’t matter why or when

No time will be wasted as soon as you leave
The peace I have is all that I need
I was born wanted and loved
The generation I was born with, that is rare to have

I know what it looks like, how it feels like
Anything less than that is not worth the hike
I forgave myself for being stubborn
I apologized because it took me so long

What I know now is that it has passed
My reality is getting better and it’s not that bad
Wherever life may lead
The peace I gained is all that I need

-juliet 20191024 1510

Luna

When days are tough that all you can do is write. And write everything that you can with anything you have left. When days are unbearable that all you can do is play a tune. And you play as instensely as you can with the pieces that’s left of your broken soul. When days are showered with stones thrown at you, filled with all of life’s atrocities. And you stop. You just close your eyes, breathe in with all your might and breathe out all of your frustrations hoping for the burden to get lighter. But it doesn’t.

When you no longer pay attention to the moon because you know very well there will come a time it will leave. But it does, you think of it, that maybe you should have given it even just a gaze that it deserves, for it might have always left but it does come back. At least you know from the get-go how it is, never will it leave you doubting because it always comes back. Maybe it left because it got right in between 2 things that matters to it the most, enough for it to be torn apart. Maybe it was never really because it wants to leave but what it has on its hand is far greater than it can bear. But you never really loved it enough to find out. You just immediately thought the worst of the moon. Because you know what it’s capable of. But hasn’t it ever occured to you that maybe, it’s as unstable as the tides when there’s a storm because you never cared enough to calm it down? When will it ever stop being about its phases?

Not all who have super powers use everything that they have, whether a villain or a super hero. Sometimes, the fear or the intimidation towards them are not because of what they are doing but of what they are capable of. Sometimes people birth monsters in their own heads.

-juliet 20190205 1422